I feel like it’s raining babies in my personal life, and that’s not just because I’m a doula and I’m surrounded by pregnant women all the time. So many of my friends are expecting and it’s fun to go through this season of life with people I care about. One thing that always strikes me with every expectant mom is how she chooses to receive care during her pregnancy and birth. Because I’m deciding these things for myself now, I thought it might be interesting to hear about my prenatal care and birth plans, and why I’ve chosen this route.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional and this post is not to be confused with medical advice. Please always consider the advice of your own health care provider when making decisions.
I realize that every person, situation, and pregnancy is different in a variety of ways. There are a lot of reasons women choose the care they do, but I believe a lot of times women don’t feel like they have a choice. So many women (people in general, really) never ask questions about the care they receive from medical professionals. They just take it as “doctor knows best” and while I’m thankful for physicians and the much needed care they provide us when it’s called for, I don’t believe that anyone can make decisions for me.
Individual Care
Ever heard of the phrase “there’s more than one way to skin a cat”? Wipe the grimace off your face, I know it’s a terrible analogy, but the gist is true for pretty much all things, especially pregnancy and birth. There is more than 1 (or 100) ways to birth and not a single one is right for all women. It’s up to each of us who are on this journey to find the path that’s truly best for us, individually. Consider this my “power to the people” soap box.
I was raised in a household that did this when it came to our general health. Growing up, I was hardly ever ill, and when I was, my mom used at-home remedies much of the time. When it was clear that an illness needed medical care, we went to the doctor, but that wasn’t the first thing we jumped to. We only went when we felt it was in our best interest. I find myself doing this now. I’m not against medical help, but I don’t believe I need to run to the doctor’s office every time I have a sniffle or sneeze… so I don’t.
What Prenatal Care is Best for Me?
So, when I got pregnant, I came to face to face with many decisions, but one of the first was how do I want to go about my prenatal care? Because I’ve been interested in this for years and years, I already kind of had a game plan, but I still thought it all over and decided I wanted to use Certified Nurse Midwives (CNMs) that were not under the umbrella of a hospital for my prenatal care.
Isn’t that dangerous? Wouldn’t you feel more comfortable with a doctor? Is that legal?
First of all, no, no, and most of the time, yes. Pregnancy in general is not dangerous, although everyone is different and it definitely can be in a variety of situations. However, for the majority of women, pregnancy is not an illness… it’s just part of life. I feel really comfortable with CNMs because they’re registered nurses with master’s degrees on top of that – they’re more than qualified to advise pregnant women for prenatal care, and to assist in most births. As far as legality, check the laws in your state because they vary. In my state of New Mexico and my home state of Texas, midwives are completely legal.
Planning for the Pregnancy I Want
Generally speaking, CNMs take more of a holistic, “natural” stance on pregnancy and birth (and I’m not entirely talking about drug-free births). For me, it seemed odd to choose an OB/GYN for care – a trained surgeon – when I’m a healthy woman who doesn’t plan on an over-medicalized or surgical birth. My CNMs take low risk pregnancies, and will transfer my care to a well regarded high-risk doctor if needed during pregnancy or birth. So, why not set out for the pregnancy and birth experience I wish for and understand that my care will be transferred to a hospital/doctor if the medical need arises?
The Choice is Yours
I write this post not to say women shouldn’t seek pregnancy care from a doctor. I write this post to say that you have a choice. You can choose – even with unexpected medical issues that may arise – you always have a choice in how you want to handle things. It’s your body. It’s your pregnancy. You have autonomy here. I know sometimes it may feel like you don’t have a choice, but truly… you do. That’s what I hope you take from this. Doctor/Midwife, medicated/unmedicated… You choose.
Lindsay says
January 10, 2018 at 12:42 pmWhen I scrolled to the first picture, upon seeing your smiling face, I had the biggest grin on my face – so I had to tell you that. I also really love this post because of your message that people, outside of being pregnant, don’t realize there are CHOICES in healthcare and taking control of your own health. I know this because I was left in the dark for just about 30 years until my intensive Alzheimer’s research led me down a more general healthcare field and boy oh boy, I am learning some incredibly disheartening to downright scary things about what we think we know about traditional medicine. Looking forward to being on this wonderful journey with you.
Jillian says
January 10, 2018 at 2:39 pmAlthough tied to the hospital, I also used CNM’s for most of my pregnancy. Until I ended up with bad high blood pressure. My favorite midwife was there the day I gave birth, I was kind of sad I couldn’t see her but I had a great Dr as well. Having choices is great. I liked, and am lucky, that the office I go to has all three levels of care available ( they also had an MFM).
Emelia Lawrence says
January 10, 2018 at 3:28 pmA very interesting and awesome approach. I fully believe in doing what you feel is best and you seem to know a lot about what you want, which is wonderful. Congratulations again, what a great post!
Carly says
January 11, 2018 at 12:00 amI love that you shared this– I definitely think that if you’re not familiar with midwifery you can have no idea it even exists as an option! It’s so important to choose what’s best for you!
Paige @ An Uncomplicated Life Blog says
January 11, 2018 at 7:11 amWell, sometimes you have a choice… I chose midwives at a birth center and ended up with an emergency c section! Really, the BABY chooses how s/he will be born, and you’re just along for the ride. But you’re so right about how many people just assume “doctors know best” when some of them aren’t even up to date on medical research or common practices. I had so many friends SHOCKED I had a VBAC just 19 months after my c section – they said “you shouldn’t even be pregnant yet, my doctor makes me wait 18 months between pregnancies!” Insert major eye roll for that one.
Tiffany says
January 11, 2018 at 3:28 pmWe almost went the home birth route with A, but infertility had us stick with a traditional OB. But I am totally with you on medical care these days. I wrote a post a while back about people being the own health advocates. Doctors don’t know best all of the time, and we are so lucky that we have the ability to choose (most of the time) where and how we receive our care; even during pregnancy!
Chelsea says
January 20, 2018 at 3:36 pmAs a mom of a child with a congenital heart defect that required immediate medical attention and surgery within days of birth, I feel this just seems so dangerous. I realize not everyone will find themselves in this circumstance, and I pray they don’t, but I truly believe without advanced medical technology, my child would not be here today. I absolutely have the doctors and surgeons to thank for that. I am thankful that I received medical prenatal care that was able to identify this in utero so that we could prepare for the safest possible delivery for him. I could not imagine being at home or in a birthing center without advanced medical equipment and technology and finding myself in this circumstance and putting your child at a higher risk of future problems or worse, death. I am thankful for the medical care that is available today and while I never considered another option, I absolutely thank God every day that I did get medical care to identify this problem before it was too late.
makingmrsm says
January 25, 2018 at 2:12 pmHi Chelsea! I’m sorry to hear about your child’s medical struggles after birth. I know that those things are really scary and I’m glad that it sounds like things have worked out. I totally understand what you’re saying: medical care saves lives. It truly does. However, not every birth is a medical event, and although I’m opting to receive care at a birthing center, that doesn’t mean I’m not getting top notch prenatal care with the appropriate amount of technology. For instance, I’ve had an ultrasound already in this pregnancy due to some bleeding in the first trimester. A consulting doctor took a look at that for me at the request of my birth center. I think it’s a complete misconception that home birth or birth center birth means you aren’t being cared for appropriately.
The point of my post was really just to encourage women in the fact that they have a CHOICE. There’s not a single choice that’s right for all women/all pregnancies. No matter what you choose, you should feel completely comfortable with who is in charge of your care. It sounds like you feel really great about your doctor and that’s FANTASTIC. Truly, that’s what it’s all about. Best!
Heather McAward says
February 27, 2018 at 5:33 amI’m a firm believer in you know what’s best for you. I go to an OB/GYN but mainly get seen by midwives and nurse practioners (and sadly, a lot of them are rude but there are a few great ones- just sucks that I can’t even count them on one hand). I also have to see a high risk Dr. I learned in my first pregnancy that all of my pregnancies are high risk. The midwives and nurses at my practice push for vaginal births. With my health problems, I did a lot of research and consulted with my specialist and we both decided that a c-section would be the best and safest decision for baby and me (my mom can’t give birth vaginally and a lot of women in my family have had to have c-sections as well). The nurses and midwives were completely against it but I held my ground because 1. I feel it should be my choice, 2. I had valid reasons with medical backup/ a Drs note and they don’t specialize in my health problems and 3. They couldn’t actually tell me no since they are not a Doctor. After getting an appointment with one of the OB/GYNs at the practice I go to, he agreed to do a c-section.
I went into labor before my scheduled c-section date. And even at the hospital in active labor, the on-call Dr tried convincing me to go vaginal. I stuck my ground and got my c-section and I am so glad I did b/c in addition to my health problems, my daughter had actually already passed meconium inside of me (I did as well when I was in my mother’s womb) and if a baby ingests meconium, they can die. So if I had gone the vaginal route and had a longer labor, my angel might not have been here today.
I’m having a repeat c-section and tubal ligation this time around and while I still get hard headed responses from people who have no idea what they are talking about in regards to my health conditions, I know what’s best and am going to stick my ground.
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makingmrsm says
March 5, 2018 at 1:19 pmGood for you for standing your ground! The choice is really the entire premise of this post. I find that so many women just go with the flow and don’t question their care (during pregnancy, or just regular medical care) and I hope that can change for us as a society. We need to be active participants in the care we receive. Good luck with your upcoming cesarean birth! I hope it’s a beautiful experience for you. 🙂
Kirsten says
April 3, 2018 at 9:40 amI totally agree with all of this. I saw an OB for the majority of my pregnancy and switched to a well-respected midwife three days before my son was born. I presented my birth plan to the OB and she refused to accept several important pieces of it due to the possibility that it might cause an emergency situation. I had a very low risk pregnancy, I was/am in good health, and my baby was perfect based on all tests and ultrasounds that were done. I also grew up on a farm and delivered so many animals I can’t even count them, so I never viewed a normal pregnancy/birth as a medical emergency and I didn’t want to be scared into doing something I didn’t want to do. So we switched over to a birth center that was research-based and worked closely with a reputable local hospital in case there was a complication. I’m so thankful we switched! My water had been broken for 18 hours without labor progression but there no signs that baby was in distress and I felt fine. In a hospital, they would have forced me to take induction measures but we were able to use natural process that jumpstarted labor. We had a very calm and easy delivery shortly after that and my baby was perfectly fine. All that said, there is absolutely a place for OB/GYNs. My cousin just had her baby and chose a different birth center in the same city. This birth center was not research-based and the midwives had very little training. After 30 hours of traumatic and intense labor, my cousin was transferred to a hospital where she had her little girl. The midwife tried not to let her move to the hospital and that would have been disasterous. At the end of the day, you do what you need to do to keep yourself and your baby safe and healthy. Do your research and make sure you trust the person delivering your baby. Be informed so you can make wise decisions and be at peace with them during labor and delivery. Fear is the biggest hindrance to a smooth delivery and being informed alleviates most of that fear 🙂
Tiffany Suzanne says
December 2, 2018 at 10:48 amI am currently 26 weeks pregnant. I have great insurance, but pay about $400 a month for it. In order to see an OB/GYN, each visit would be an additional $250-400 (based on if I had another sonogram and/or bloodwork). That amounts to between $650-800 per month to see a doctor. For them to measure my stomach, check for a heartbeat and send me on my way.
I’ve really been upset and stressed about the financial impact on my family, and the fact that even as middle class citizens, we really can’t afford to be doing this. SO, I’ve decided I’m not. I purchased a fetal monitor so I can check for a heartbeat, a blood pressure cuff to monitor my own blood pressure, and I’ll be hiring a midwife for delivery only.
This may not be the route for everyone, but the amount of financial and emotional stress it takes off of me is well worth it.
makingmrsm says
January 3, 2019 at 2:12 pmBest of luck to you, Tiffany! There truly is a lot of work ahead of us when it comes to making sure everyone can get proper medical care at fair costs.