Do you know what’s worse than diarrhea on a cold toilet? Diarrhea on a warm one. If you’re wondering where I was last week, well… my husband and I both spent it in our one bathroom apartment together. Cozy. This post is neither insightful or informative, but I sure hope it gives you a laugh (completely at my expense, by the way). Oh, and I hope you like songs. If bathroom humor is just not your thing, maybe head on over to my new reader page and read some oldies but goodies, ok?
Friday before last, I was sitting at my desk at work when I felt a twinge in my gut. Something just felt sour, so I toughed it out until lunch and then decided to head home. I was fortunate enough to get a couple of hours in to work on some things before it began. Crazy stomach pain. Blinding, almost.
When your stomach is in pain,
And you’re making chocolate rain,
So, I called my doctor to ask what I could do. I did not want to spend the weekend like that and even more I did not want my situation to progress to the point where I felt I needed an emergency room. I received a swift return call: Imodium. Alright, cool. Except it didn’t help. I writhed in pain all night and then the vomiting began. Luckily that was short lived.
When you’re sitting nice and quiet,
and your gut starts feeling violent,
Then, on Saturday, my husband got it. Or, I realized he’d had it all along, rather. I had been pretty self-centered. We took turns taking the commode for a spin. Folks, if your marriage can survive a stomach bug in a one bathroom apartment without seeing or smelling anything disgusting, hats off… because that’s not how it happened for us.
When you give your hubs a hug,
and it stains your brand new rug.
We were super lucky and got to endure this bug for SIX ENTIRE DAYS. Oh the fluids! Oh the humility! I think this bug was payback for a decade spent without a drop of diarrhea. I truly do. If I never get it again it will be too soon.
Thanks for sticking with me through that, y’all. Phew! I am so glad to be healthy, again.
What is the worst bug you’ve ever shared with your spouse? Tell me your horror stories!